Expectoration

Gary Warner could spit! My mother viewed spitting as ungentlemanly and unnecessary. She didn’t allow it around our house so I did not see my Dad spit often, either. I guess I didn’t think about it much. The only exception she allowed was my Grandfather Perry who chewed tobacco. He could do that outside but she did not allow it in our house.

I didn’t learn much about spitting until I met Gary. Boy, could he spit! Gary was the shortest kid in our class and was nicknamed “PeeWee” which he much preferred over his given name. His parents owned the Dream Drive In and he lived in a trailer behind the place.

Pee Wee had a different spit for each occasion. There was the general “speeuee” which he used almost constantly when were just walking around. It was almost as if he was marking his territory. As Gary approached he would spit once on the left and then quickly once on the right. When he stopped he would spit one “speeuee” in front almost right between his toes.

He would launch into conversation and to punctuate his sentences he would use a special spit. He would draw his lips back tightly to his teeth, open his mouth only slightly and propel spit between his upper and lower teeth. It was kind of a bullet spit always up into the air and off to his right. It was a “tu”.

Spitting is like yawning. Once somebody started doing it everybody starts doing it. When the guys gathered on the playground and Pee Wee came over it wasn’t long before the ground around us was covered and there was the constant “tu” or “speeuee” or “sperat” or “dut” as the boys cleared their mouths of all moisture. It was no wonder we were so thirsty after recess. If we had thought of it and timed in right we could have made our own kind of music out there.

More than once the teacher on recess duty would walk by looking down at the ground and say, “Is it starting to rain?” We would all giggle and move away as quickly as we could.

Occasionally, a spitter makes a mistake. I have seen it happen more than once. A spitter will be walking down the hall at school. Meeting one of his friends he will instinctively spit on the floor and then realize what he has done. Quick glances up and down the hall assure him that his secret is safe this time. Once in awhile, even today, when I see a wet spot on the floor of the hall in one of the schools I know what has happened.

Another spitting faux pas is spitting on yourself. That is something that you don’t ever want to happen and if it does you don’t want anybody to know about it. That sometimes happens when the spit is sort of strung out. This is really considered to be bad form and to be avoided at all cost.

Strange as it may sound spitting on someone else is also considered inappropriate under any but exceptional circumstance. Even in the heat of battle a self-respecting spitter would not spit on another except as a last resort. Then it would be a “touee” which is intended to sound bad and actually carries little spit.

So there ya have it! Pee Wee inspired our spitting through most of fourth and fifth grade. Most of us gradually moved out of that stage but occasionally I still catch myself offering out a “tu” or “speeuee”.