A New Journal

There is a magic to writing. It is something I have to do, need to do, want to do. I’m just not sure...I am not sure why it is? It has been that way for a long time. Maybe I inherited it from my mother? It could be that the story just must get out or it could be something else. So often I don't know where I am going when I start and that's the magic part. It just comes out. Robert Frost said, "I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering." The fascinating part is that it wouldn't have come out, been magic, if I hadn’t starting writing in the first place. I often wonder how many things or great stories go untold for want of a writer to tell them?

I have always thought it amusing that so many experts spend so much time mulling over what they think the author might have been trying to say when the author didn’t know that himself/herself until after having written. What’s more important is what does the text mean to you?

Becky gave me a new journal for Christmas in 1980. My first one was full so it was perfect timing. It is full of interesting details about our lives in the early 1980s. Sometimes I clipped a newspaper article or wrote something on a loose piece of paper and stuck it between the pages of a journal. Coming upon them now as I read the older journals is a great discovery.

One of those pieces of paper in this journal has a list of the elements of writing on one side and on the other side an interesting musing:

“The songs and poems bring to mind a thousand thoughts as they pass by. I think I must rise out of a protected childhood. One rich with positive experiences and very little, if any, bad experience, at least as far as my home life is concerned. My parents accepted and encouraged me no matter how bad I did in school. Somehow, they instilled in me a sort of persistence that doesn’t recognize failure. It’s kind of a “not knowing when your beaten” attitude that has carried me through many experiences. As I look back on many of those experiences now I wonder why I just didn’t give up. The same attitude has probably gotten me in more trouble than I needed, too.”

I don’t know what led up to me making this personal discovery at that time, but I am glad I wrote about it. It seems very true for me, even today. That is not the case with everything I find in the old journals. I have clearly moved on from some things. I guess the goal of writing at anytime is to tell the truth, as you know it.

Writing is a forced meditation about a topic and I think it is through that meditation that the discoveries come. Reading is a meditation, too, but just not as intense. Your mind can actually wander when you are reading and still not miss much of the text. That is not true of writing. If your mind wanders when writing your writing usually wonders with it.